Reflecting on Life Part 1

Well, here we are just over a week having past since we met “Lauren”, the pregnant young woman who has asked us to parent her child.
I. AM. STILL. ______________________ (fill in the blank)

a) processing
b) overwhelmed
c) speechless
d) emotionally anxious

Yep! You guessed it! The correct answer is:

e) All of the Above

I still feel tired from the visit to go see her. Thattown, MO is really not that far from us, only a couple hours, but emotionally it was an exhausting visit so I feel like I am still recuperating.

So, let me give you a play-by-play of the weekend to tell you just how much of a blessing the entire little getaway was for our marriage and for our upcoming adoption!!

Back when we planned this little getaway, I knew it would be a distinct possibility that Tim would have to work most of the day Friday and that we wouldn’t be able to get out of town until the early evening hours. But on Wednesday he surprised me by telling me that he had taken Friday off altogether and that he wanted us to drop the kids at his sister’s house early and get on the road about noon! Well, can I just tell you how this blessed my heart?? The fact the he, in a very stressful and high-powered position ( he is a GM for a hotel ) and at a time when he still didn’t have an assistant manager to take over for him, that he just took an extra day off at the last minute like that! Wow! Thank you, Lord!

So, on friday morning, I woke up early to take the car for an oil change, get it gassed up, and stop for some starbucks… then we packed up and took the kiddos to his sister’s house. We then decided to stop for lunch before we hit the road so we wouldn’t have to stop on the way. We ate at a cute little buffet place that is not a chain, and it was really very good. More than the food though, we had the best conversation over lunch. We were both visibly relaxing as lunch went on, and we just enjoyed one another’s company.

Romantic Indicator #1: I had Tim take my purse back to the car and lock it up because I didn’t want to leave it at the table unattended…and we wanted to walk the buffet lines together! Is that not corny?? But totally cute, too! (Ahem, and you know, if you have kids that you can’t remember the last time you have sat at the table together while in a buffet restaurant! One or the other of you is always up fetching something for someone while the other stays with the kids and then as soon as he sits down, off you go! So, this, this was a delight!!)

Then we got in the car, and hit the highway. We decided that we would take a smaller highway rather than the interstate. We always used to do this on all the road trips we took B.C. (before children). It was always so fun! I would kick off my shoes, pull out the map and we would drive through the country roads delighting in the scenery and one another’s company with equal voracity.

Romantic Indicator #2: Here we were 5 years since our last road trip alone, and the joy and delight was fresh and exhilerating! The map was nowhere to be found so we just sat back, relaxed, and let the road lead us! It was a liberating and refreshing experience for our marriage! Like life, sometimes you just can’t find that darn roadmap to reassure you that you are headed in the right direction, and all you can do is sit back, relax, and let the road lead you!
That has certainly been true with this adoption, so it seemed so fitting to live this journey to meet the birthmother in precisely that fashion!

Now, normally when we take road trips, we love to blast our cds and sing to all our favorite songs! We both love music so much! Our passion for it comes from two very different place, me as a musician, and Tim as an appreciator of great music. So, we both love a wide variety of music and we enjoy singing along to the Counting Crows, Carbonleaf, Dave Matthews, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Third Day, the Dixie Chiks, Sheryl Crow, Matt Redman, Matt Maher, Caedmon’s Call, etc, etc, etc!!! Normally, we would burn a bunch of cd’s for the road and go through them – with whoever is riding shotgun acting as both navigator and DJ.
Not this time.

Romantic Indicator #3: While I had burned several cd’s for our little road trip, we didn’t ever even turn on the radio!! Y’all! This is a big deal! We actually talked for 2 straight hours!!! And that was after talking for a straight hour at lunch! We prayed together, we talked, we laughed, and just had a wonderful time renewing our friendship! I had forgotten just how good of friends we used to be! This was such a blessed time rekindling that part of our relationship. It was much needed and we are both still so grateful for it!

Okay, we arrived in Thattown and checked into our hotel. The hotel offers free happy hour so we went to our rooms, got ready for our little date night and then went down and enjoyed the Manager’s Reception/Happy Hour.

Romantic Indicator #4: We were going to sit at a table in the lobby of the hotel, but rather than sit across from one another, we decided to sit on the same side of the table and hold hands while we watched a little of the Sweet Sixteen basketball on the lobby T.V. before heading out for dinner.

Then we headed out for dinner. And wow. The blessings just kept coming! We laughed and joked while we tried to find a place to eat in Thattown that didn’t have a 45 minute wait. Finally we headed to the college campus and ate at an adorable little pub. We had the very last booth in the back of the restaurant and we talked and talked all night long about college and how if we’d known each other in college, or gone to the same college we would have dated and hung out at places like this!

Romantic Indicator #5: We also talked about some pretty serious stuff that has to do with our marriage and our relationship – you know, the kind of stuff that you never get to talk about because it is like #37 on the “talk to spouse about” list!! Yeah, we were able to dig down that deep. It was a delightfully intimate and nostalgic conversation. We talked and talked and then realized we needed to run if we wanted to catch that movie!

Seeing a movie in a theater without our children was a big deal. I cannot remember the last time we did that! We went to see Wild Hogs. And well, let me just say, if you are over 25 and you are even remotely able to relate to the ideas of getting older….then you will SO appreciate the humor in this movie! We laughed so hard before we even got into the movie, because while this particular movie theater complex was quite obviously a teenage hangout (I think the 50-60 youngsters with acne, braces, way too much make-up hanging out on the front steps were a dead giveaway) our particular theater where Wild Hogs was showing was quite devoid of teenagers! Yup, the only folks who wanted to see 4 middleaged men wear leather and ride motorbikes were all clearly well past their teensage years!! And to be quite honest, we laughed through the whole movie! Harder than the two other couples in the theater who were themselves, ahem, middleaged.

…to be continued. (I realize this is a long post & that you maybe don’t see what this has to do with meeting our birthmother…it does, trust me, it does.)

9 thoughts on “Reflecting on Life Part 1

  1. Karen says:

    Oh, I’m so glad to be reading your story!! So far, so good! It sounds wonderful, actually. I can tell that you and Tim were especially blest by the time you were able to spend together, and I’m so happy about that. Taking care of our marriages is of the utmost importance, but yet is so hard to do with little ones around all the time. I’m glad you had that time together! Can’t wait to read part 2!! Blessings, Karen

  2. Kelly says:

    I have lurked on your blog for ages ( I hop over from Something Beautiful) and just love reading! Your faith and your passion for your family are so evident that I am just blessed by what you write! I had to say hello because I can so relate to what you are writing about the time spent with your husband. My husband and I have our best conversations traveling in the car, which is rare with kids, and it sounds like you had a great chance to reconnect. Ins’t it a blessing to be married to your best friend? And I flatout loved Wild Hogs! We laughed so hard it was ridiculous… one of my favorite movies:-)

  3. aggiejenn says:

    What a wonderful time you had! I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story (and I would LOVE to go see a movie in the theater sometime soon with hubby!!).

  4. Becca says:

    What a wonderfulll post, Stacy.! Now, I have some iideas forrrrr our swap. bbyy the way, something has taken over my keyboardd, hope you cann read this!

  5. Julie says:

    It sounds like a wonderful road trip…I know it can be hard to find “couple time” and reconnect! I’m looking forward to reading about your meeting with your baby’s birthmother.

  6. Mike says:

    I know what you mean.When we are at a restaurant, my 4-year old always sits besides my wife or me while my 1-year old sits between us.One time, I asked my 4-year old could sit by himself while I sit with my wife.My 4-year old looked at me, sighed then said, “OK. But no kissy-kissy, OK?”Mike< HREF="" REL="nofollow"><>

  7. Elise says:

    Oh, I trust you! And I can’t WAIT to hear more! I’m so happy for you! Isn’t God so great, that He cares even down to these little “romantic” details? 🙂

  8. Christine says:

    What wonderful blessings on your trip thus far! Rekindling your friendship with your hubby is almost more important than rekindling the romance. Can’t wait to read the rest!

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