What has really been going on.

*** Updated at the bottom

You may have noticed that I haven’t posted anything of great, um, personal insight in quite some time. I have been working on it. Trying to figure out how to say it all. Praying about the timing. And so here you go. Here is the update of what is really going on in our lives right now.

For several years, Tim and I have felt a little nagging deep inside towards foster care & adoption, but we both put it off as neither of us really WANTED to do it, you know. I mean really, who wants to go through all of the training, live in a way that you are daily encountering the “uncomfortable” and confronted with the marginalized of society – let alone face the inevitable pain that will come from letting go of a child you have loved on for weeks, months, or years go back to be “reunited” with a set of parents that you know will not give that child the same care you have, knowing you will never see that child again. Hearts ripped out.
So who wants that? Who actively seeks that out?
Well, after the lost pregnancies, and the failed adoption (for lack of better term) last year, we felt like we needed to heal for quite some time. Tim is very VERY, uncomfortable with doing another private adoption within the USA. Understandably so, he is very hesitant to commit again and have something horrendous happen like what happened last year. I can look back a year later and almost laugh at the preposterousness of all that went on surrounding that adoption. Almost. And Tim is getting there. But he is no closer to being open to private, domestic adoption again. So our only choices are foreign adoption and state adoption. So we are in a position of having to save for a foreign adoption (or at least half of it and then take out a loan for some of it) – but that will take some time to get there financially. By the time we have that 30,000 saved up, who knows what things will look like in our family….so we are not like, holding on to that as our solid plan!

But I digress.

As the end of Lent approached, we both began feeling called to look at this with new eyes, for a fresh perspective. Perhaps it is not that God is not answering our prayers for siblings for our children, but that He is preparing our family for something new and different.
I began to sense that we were being called to give homes to the orphans who already exist here in our own backyard – not in some foreign country.
I talked with Tim about it and he felt the same, it was like this was the mission we’d been waiting for as a family. God had brought it to us…we hadn’t had to go looking for it at all! And he didn’t need to bring us to the mission fields of Mexico when the poor and helpless are right here. He made it very clear in prayer that the love and commitment we had poured out to Zachary last year had fertilized the soil of our hearts…preparing us to receive each foster child in His name. So it is that we have decided to be licensed for foster care and state adoption. It’s the state’s Foster to Adopt program. Basically, we are open to fostering any children ages 0-3yrs and we can take up to 3 at a time. (because we already have 2 kiddos and they have rules about this sort of thing). Then, most exciting of all, we are also in the pool for prospective adoptive parents for any child within the state system who needs to be adopted (again ages 0-3, sibling group within that age restriction is okay with us, and we are open to any race). So, if God chooses to bring us a permanent placement sooner rather than later, then our fostering will be limited to none. If he chooses not to, then we will be simply fostering children for the unforeseeable future. Exciting, huh? The thought of having wee ones in the home again is thrilling to me! Even if just for a short stint at a time!

Anyways, once we made the decision is when the floodgates opened. I have cried almost every day for these children. My heart grieves for them and for their circumstances. Weeping for the love I know that we have for these little ones that so desperately need it. Weeping – overwhelmed and humbled by the fact that He chose us to this mission. Weeping at the blessings we have been given and with gratitude for the opportunity to share them with children who lack the basics. It rips my heart out to think that there are children in this world without someone who thinks that they hung the moon, someone to snuggle with them, hold them, pray with them, listen to them, play games with them, and rock them to sleep. Someone to make sure their clothes are clean, and that their shoes fit. Someone to ensure that they get healthy meals and snacks and allows them to eat until they are full. Someone to ensure they have a warm, clean place to sleep each night with their own blankets and stuffed animals, and their own pillow. Someone to take them to the doctor and dentist to make sure they are growing up strong and healthy. Someone to be there when they are sick, or sad, or lonely. Someone who’s going to just be there. Period.

Every child deserves this. To me, these are the basics. Food, and shelter, yes. And most importantly LOVE, TENDERNESS, and COMMITMENT.

Pray that we can be the vessel of grace God wants us to be for this mission. Pray that we can be open to His promptings. Most importantly, please pray for the children who we will be placed with. We have started praying for permanent placements (kids in the foster system who are needing to be adopted) that are still in our age range (0-3 years). I believe that we can pave the path to our door with prayers for all the little ones who are supposed to join our family.

Cool quote from my mini-retreat (ACTS) yesterday:
“Mother of God, you offered the hospitality of your womb as the dwelling place for the Holy One. May I continually open the womb of my heart to all who need a welcome there.”
THAT perfectly articulates my prayer for this journey of ours.

And so begins the process of jumping through hoops. Looks like our caseworker is coming here on Wednesday morning to do a walk-through of the house, to make sure it fits the state requirements. And so I clean. I mean, I just did a Spring Cleaning so it shouldn’t be a problem, right? Yeah, but the room that will be a new child’s room is kind of full of junk right now. Just need to get it all put away and then I can be at peace. Yeah right. I will be cleaning like mad for the next 48 hours until she arrives!!! I’ll let you know how it goes!


18 thoughts on “What has really been going on.

  1. Ria says:

    We are praying the right kids come to you. We hope to be foster parents some day too when we are in a more permanent place. I knew many kids in the system and so many just want a good place for a home – so we will be praying God matches you with the ones who need you most.

  2. Mommy Cracked says:

    Isn’t it amazing what God calls us to do? And what a blessing that you and your husband chose to heed this call! I am so excited for you both and pray the Lord does mighty things for those children through you.

  3. Jenn @ Munchkin Land says:

    Oh my goodness, Stacey! What incredible, joyous news. I’m so excited that you’ve shared this new part of the journey with us and I’m anxious to see who God will place in your lives. I know that whoever comes to your home will be blessed in so many ways. You guys have an incredible family to offer someone; I only wish I were there in person to witness it all. You will be in my prayers…

  4. Steve & Molly says:

    What an exciting adventure you are embarking on! We have friends that started doing foster care 2 years ago. While it is a challenge at times, they love it! Their first placement was a newborn and they have recently adopted her…wonderful story of God’s grace! Praying that God will not only be preparing your hearts for this new opportunity, but also preparing the hearts of these children to hear His truth in your home.

  5. Leanne says:

    This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a long time…I have several friends who are foster parents and have adopted through the state… their children are wonderful! It was hard work, but it was worth it! I will be praying for you…p.s. they care a lot more about your emotional/spiritual environment than they do about your physical environment… don’t go too crazy cleaning!

  6. Holly says:

    Best wishes for you and your family, Stacey. I will be praying for your intention and that God’s grace and mercy would pour out upon your family for such a generous “Yes!”.I’m looking forward to reading about how God is blessing your family through this special ministry.

  7. The Lazy Organizer says:

    What an amazing journey! I have a special place in my heart for foster kids. I can’t imagine anyone in greater need. I thought we would become foster parents three years ago and we went through all the training only to end up getting pregnant and building a new home so it never worked out. We have a small farm now and I would love to use it in some way to help foster kids. Who knows!

  8. Miss Jen says:

    I was so touched by your story and have felt some similar things. We went thru a ‘messy’ private adoption a few years ago and although it went thru and we were thrilled it is a hard way to go. I do feel like the adoption opened our hearts to the idea of fostering at some point and to the vast needs of kids here in our own state. There are so many families here that struggle with drug and abuse issues. It would be a blessing and an honor to help them. Good luck in your new adventure. Visit my blog for another story that will change your heart! I put it on my ‘Talk About Tuesday’ post for today. It’s a link to another faithful and inspiring mom and her struggle to get her little family to earth. It’s amazing!Anyway, thanks for sharing and God bless!

  9. T. says:

    I wish you all the best. My husband and I are struggling to decide between TTC or adopting or just forgetting about it all together after our only child died 2.5 yrs ago.

  10. Ter says:

    I wish you all the best. My husband and I are struggling to decide between TTC, adopting or forgetting about it, after our only child died 2.5 yrs ago. (sorry I had this on the wrong account when I tried to comment earlier, now it should be right!)

  11. Tracey says:

    I totally understand having to jump through hoops!!! Best of luck!! If you want to talk to someone I’d love to discuss our circumstances!!!

  12. Overwhelmed! says:

    You know that we’re in the midst of both a foster-only placement and a potential foster-to-adopt placement (2 beautiful little girls) and if you’ve been reading my posts lately you’ll also know that this fostering gig is NOT easy.And yet, I don’t regret our decision one bit and I don’t think you will either. You have a wonderful attitude about this calling…hopefully God will one day bless you with a child to adopt but until that happens you’re willing to foster and help children most in need.You and your family will be blessed by opening your hearts and home to these children.Good luck and keep me posted about the licensing process. Email me any time you need a supportive friend who “gets” it.

  13. Karin Katherine says:

    PLEASE visit http://www.helpusadopt.org where you can apply for a financial assistance grant to aid you in your adoption. My friend Becky (adoptive mother) started this charity. There are no strings attached. No fees involved in submitting your application. I wish you the best!God Bless you on this journey.

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