Eloquent words elude me as I sit indicted of a crime against childhood.
Convicted on many counts of being the joy-stealer, the fun-nabber, the creativity-thief.
My sentence? Years of regret. Wishing I had said yes more and no less. Wishing the memories they held were of life to the full, rich in joy and creativity and an absence of fear that mama’s answer will always be no.
So I join two of my dear friends here in this space to make a commitment to rehabilitation. To change. To grow and to be healed. Ann says it best when she speaks of the no’s uttered to children reflect the no’s we tell ourselves. “No, I can’t do that.” “No, I am not good enough” “No, I shouldn’t think that.” “No, don’t dare to dream THAT dream.” “No, I don’t deserve that.”
What about when “yes” is simply not possible? Elise reccomends “instead.” I like this one. Because perhaps with any rehabilitation process, I need to begin with baby steps. I need to have an out… an opportunity to not burn out on all yeses all the time.
With any rehab, this will take work. Work in my head, heart and most of all my soul. To think of the Yes HE said for me. To be humbled in the moments when MY agenda seems like the most important thing, and to simply say yes. Yes to the child. Yes to the husband. Yes.
“Let it be done unto me according to Thy word.” Luke 1:38